Egyptian Foreign Ministry officials today ruled out the possibility of a “domino effect” in the wake of the Tunisian rebellion, which saw the nation’s long-standing dictator forced into exile by massive popular protest.
“It is difficult to compare the situation in Tunisia, which led to the popular movement there, with the situation in any other country,” officials insisted. There has been growing speculation that what happened in Tunisia would in fact inspire comparable revolts against the other dictators across Northern Africa and the Arabian Peninsula.
Former IAEA chief Mohamed ElBaradei warned that Egypt could well face a “Tunisia-style explosion” in the coming days. ElBaradei declined to back such protests, a move that spawned criticism from other opposition figures but was likely intended in no small measure to keep him out of prison.
Officials say that Barack Obama called Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak to reassure him of US support. According to reports, Obama, whose administration nominally supported the Tunisian rebellion after the fact, told them he prefers “calm” in the region rather than revolts.
What else could the Egyptian tyrants say? Of course, they don't want to lose their place at the helm. And obviously their enablers in the US have hurried to reassure them.
Obama: Don't worry dear Hosni. This little thing going on in Tunisia is something we had already foreseen.
Mubarak: I'm not sure about that Barack. What if the Muslim Brotehrhood starts something here?
Obama: But you said the situation with the MB was solved!
Mubarak: True. My heroic soldiers at the Mukhabarat are keeping them at bay; however, what about those in exhile?
Obama: C'mon. Don't tell me you cannot deal with that! I can send Petr…
Mubarak: You are so funny dear Barack. I definitely can solve the situation, but this type of situation always creates some issues. You know what I mean, right?
Obama: I do, but ONCE AGAIN we are in full control. Cannot you get it?
Mubarak: Full control? Like in Iraq or Afghanistan?
Obama: hehehe. Dear Hosni, you seem to be getting too pessimistic lately. I can always ask our common friends from the Mossad to give you a hand. They make wonders. Look at Lebanon.
Mubarak: Well, the Mukhabarat is doing a good job. No need to bother the Mossad.
Obama: Hehehe. I supposed so. Ok, dear ally. Have a good night sleep, hehehe.
End of call
Mubarak: Tell our Ambassador in Paris to start asking about the purchase of a villa in the nicest place there! Now!
Denial, denial, denial. "It can't happen here because we say so. Any similarities between the Tunisian dictator and our very own dictator is purely coincidental," the official stated. And Hosni Mubarak approved the message.